My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
