i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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