I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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