oh god the rape fog is back!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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