Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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