Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
