well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
