so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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