Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
