She is in my trunk
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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