sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
