any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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