Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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