I think i peed on brittanys purse
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.