i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.