I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
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I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS