He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
