So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
