that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
