JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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