My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
as a side note pls kill me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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