I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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