either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
