Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm really busy with my period
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