You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the room spins SO much faster in panama
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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