Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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