I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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