The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
