mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
