His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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