she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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