so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
