is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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