And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
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A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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