Small penises have feelings too.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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