I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize