My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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