I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
