wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
