I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize