That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
