I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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