perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
