Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
