dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
