Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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