Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
