I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
