she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize