He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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