I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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