i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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