Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
