so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
