Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize