Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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