whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
