guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
