i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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