I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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