you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
