My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
