dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
