She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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