Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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