i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
